i'm pissed! i have to work that day. tomorrrow. i'd like to call in sick, but i'm not that inconsiderate and fake (*ahem..* like some people i know, that i dont want reading this blog of mine).. but whatever.. i'm too good enough for you/all anyways. (but for those that are my friends.. i'm not referring to you, unless you believe i have a problem with you.. then i'm talking about you. indirectly, that is. so don't go crying and telling ppl about it behind my back.)
anyways. where the fuck did that come from anyways? it's a gloomy day today in the beautiful town of Eureka (*note the sarcasm*).. and people tend to get weirder and more tense during this type of weather.
it was hot earlier today after i went to the gym. i even had the windows open just to cool the insides of my apartment. but now it's cold. great. i had to close a couple of windows now.. my body is freezing.
*sigh*... why do people live here anyways? do you really like the constant average temperature of 55-65 degrees year-round? there's only 2 types of seasons here. it's somewhat gloomy/sunny during the summer months... and constant gloomy overcasts with rain 24/7.. it's just rain. i miss thunderstorms. i really wish there were thunderstorms here. and scare off the weirdos living in this town.
you may see me at starbucks with a smile on my face.. happily ringing up customers and making frapps for customers.. but deep down inside.. i'm crying. i'm not fake. i'd tell people straight out and tell them i hate it here. but the difference between me and others is that i have common courtesy. i do respect people and what they believe in. please respect me and what i do. just because i'm in a relationship with another male, doesn't mean you can start talking to me about it.. unless i've talked about it prior. it's disrespectful. if i have told you that he's my roommate, then he's my roommate.. don't twist the words i've said.
wow, how off topic i've become! .. well to get back to what i was talking about.. i wish i wasn't working so i could go shopping. i want to go to Wal-Mart. i want to go to Best Buy. i want to go to Outback Steakhouse. i want to go to Abercrombie & Fitch. i want to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
but the MOST IMPORTANT and BEST thing about me living here.. (can you sense the oxymoron of this statement?).. is that i'm NOT going to be living here FOREVER. yayyyy!!!
you see, i still have a bunch of optimism left in me.. and once i do leave this place for good, i highly doubt i'll return.. but i'll definitely miss the friends i've made here.. i only wish i could take them the beautiful places i've seen across the country. there's soo much more options than just Humboldt County. i'm definitely going to tell people not to move here.. unless they are homeless, do meth, do marijuana a hardcore hippie, or an extreme liberal, or just plain washed up.. i'd tell them..
"ooh, i know a really cool place that you can live where there are people just like you!! it's in Humboldt County. yeah, no need to thank me.. just leave me alone. bye.".. as you can already tell.. i'm going through a "i hate eureka" moment. this is very common condition when people that are forced or stuck to live in this place.. either because you met someone that lived here and now in a relationship, you have a well paying job (in which you can't transfer until a certain time and you're counting the days till you leave) (and you guessed it, that's basically what i'm in right now.. haha), you couldn't handle the traffic in the city and there's no where else to go, and college at Humboldt State University. i encounter this condition mostly during the gloomy days.. such as today. it's depressing i know. and which is why the suicide rates are unbelievably high compared to a lot of places. but would you say that this place is slowly dying? one person after the other? i believe so.. the other day i was driving through the old downtown area of Eureka and passed by a car that has driven right thru a metal fence. i saw people crowding around it. and i assumed that the person that was driving wasn't paying attention and placed the car in drive instead of reverse and accelerated like they're the shit to unfortunately drive through a metal fence. this isn't just some wired fence.. this is a tall 5-foot heavy fence. so basically there was a sedan parallel to the road and on the sidewalk. haha. i laughed when i saw it. the people in this town are deteriorating this place every second. i see people throwing scraps of garbage out their car windows.. i see homeless people piling garbage around town and total eyesores of buildings everywhere. there's no contracting. they can't afford it or they're too lazy. they just let (used to be beautiful) victorian houses crumble to the ground as the (once to be colorful) paint withers away in the breeze.
..like the familiar faces (or the infamous people) in this town.. i'm starting to believe that im becoming a 'face' in this town. i do understand that i've offended and started a commotion with what i've said about this town. but do you see me stopping? of course not. with a town full of liberals, you would expect this to occur. and speaking of liberals.. i'm starting to become a little bit more moderate-liberal. extreme liberals just whine. actually the 'extremes' of both sides whine. so it gets annoying.
ok.. enough of this. i usually just ramble on and on about random shit. thanks for reading.. it really means alot to me that people read what i've written. please leave a comment or two if you ever have the need to reply on something i've written.. thanks..
~lor
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